My Pregnancy Continued - The Countdown to Labour

My last pregnancy post left me at  33 weeks pregnant. It had been a very stressful emotional weekend, the Saturday was good but tiring as I went to Doncaster wildlife park with my family, however on the Sunday me and the boyfriend had a massive stumbling block in our relationship. That's too personal to write about on here, but its safe to say that's been my lowest point during pregnancy.

Monday was my fourth iron infusion and our first antenatal class. Ashley came with me to the infusion and that out the way I went to buy us some tea and then came back up to work to wait for him to finish so we could eat before going to the class. I bumped into a few of my work friends whilst I was there which was nice =) (oh and the creep too eurgh), it was really good to see them as I've been missing them and feeling pretty unsocial at points whilst I've been away. 

What I expected

Our class started at half 5, and we had a lovely young midwife called Rebecca running it (who I'd met before in the Maternity Assessment Center). It was not how I expected, not like the one's I'd seen in the movies with women sat between their partners legs practicing breathing techniques. I think they had separate 'Active Birth' classes for that which I'd been misinformed about. Instead the first class was a talk through of labour and giving birth, what exactly happens in each stage, how to deal with the situation, when to get in touch with the hospital, pain relief options etc.

Doesn't look fun

I knew roughly what I needed to about the stages, when to contact someone, pain relief options, but it was good to go through it in more detail and feel more prepared. The one thing I hadn't thought so much about though, is the bit after your cervix is fully dilated....when you've got past that pain, you then have to fit this baby through your birth canal! Whenever I'd thought about the terrifying prospect of giving birth before I got pregnant, I always just related the cervix and the birth canal together, thinking they both widened and opened up. I suppose I'd just never thought about it properly. So talking about the actual giving birth and pushing the baby out part of labour in the class and solidifying the idea into my head, I did feel that terror coming back.....it just seems impossible to me, even though millions do it.
The main thing that got to me besides that was talking about epidurals, which I no way on earth want, but I know you can never predict what will happen. The thought of the huge needle...and mainly the location where it goes (....it could so easily paralyze you if it was done wrong) are what put me off, but my nativity again became apparent to myself as I didn't realise a needle is left in to control and keep the dosage going. Whilst the midwife was talking through this my blood pressure was dropping and I really thought I was going to pass out. I just can't handle hearing about it due to my phobia. 

After the talk she took us to see the Delivery Suite rooms, two types, one being a bit more homely with a separate room with a massive bath, which I would prefer if i get to choose and then that was session 1 over with.

Giving Birth - a Scary Thought

Its funny, since becoming pregnant my feelings towards giving birth have changed a lot. Before I used to think it was absolutely terrifying, that I couldn't do it and I would have to have a C - section and if not definitely an epidural. Now they are the last two things I want (I really don't want my bikini line slicing open and my stomach muscled being a bit damaged) and during most of this pregnancy the thought of giving birth hasn't scared me at all. I think once you have a baby inside you and make a connection with it, most of you just focuses on looking after it during pregnancy and meeting it after the labour. It gives you another focus, but I have to say now I'm counting down the final days until my due date (9 days left at the time of writing this) I am getting a bit scared. I mainly just want her out and also partly still can't imagine it actually happening, but with the back pains and braxton hicks I have been getting the past couple days it is starting to feel more real and I do have fear in the background thinking can I get through it? I'm pretty sure I will be crying! But it will be worth it in the end I know.

So first antenatal class out the way, it was my final Iron Infusion on Wednesday, when I turned 34 weeks pregnant. Ashley wasn't at this one and I was quite unhappy as I didn't have either of the midwives I'd had before and this one kept dropping things on the floor. I'd had a G.I appt before it and once they were both over I thought I'd finally go to the exhibition at the museum I walk past most days. It was the Spice Girls one and was only on until July and I thought I may as well go and have a look especially when I'd just been topped up on my iron!

Unfortunately it was up several flights of stairs and I did get bad backache while looking round, so didn't get to the rest of the exhibitions such as Ancient World which looks really good. The Spice Girls exhibition was quite fun to to round though, mainly very nostalgic, especially when I spotted things I had owned, so I'm glad I had a look. 
The other regions will be much more worth looking round, but it will have to wait until I'm not carrying this heavy little one round in my tummy!

I had my next antenatal appointment the next day, where they weighed up how things were going and my bump was measuring average still and on Friday I was very lucky and excited to receive a parcel from my lovely mummy to be friend Mel, who was due in just over a week at this point. She was really generous and sent lots of lovely baby things, including the first pair of booties my baby has received and the Disney nursery fragrance which I'd wanted so much but couldn't justify buying. It made me very happy :) 

Hello Kitty outfits from Mel, shoes from Emma Louise :)

The next day I managed to walk to the sorting office to get another lovely parcel from Emma Louise, mummy to Cameron. So I got two lots of lovely gifts in the space of two days.  Emma sent me a few things including my babies first pair of shoes and a couple things for myself such as an Elephant ring which I love!

My next antenatal class was the next Monday, so after a trek round a couple shops I walked up to work (this time hiding from the creep in the tea room but bumping into about 3 people and finding out yet another work colleague is pregnant. Definitely something in the water!) and waited for Ash to finish. This talk was mostly about breastfeeding, how to do it successfully, reassurance, techniques etc but it also covered how to bath a baby and how to change its nappy, at which stage we all got baby dolls, where the women had the practice the positions to hold a baby in for a feed and then men had to practice changing the nappies! Ashley swiveled the dolls head round so it was looking at me to creep me out, like that moment with the giant baby doll in Toy Story 3. 


When I'd passed 35 weeks it was almost Tasleen and Mel's due dates (24th and 26th), which was SO exciting, but both came and went with no babies being born! I'd been trying to stay active and still had to get things done so over that weekend I trekked to several areas in town to try and get crib sheets, the next day to do a big grocery shop, and then again on Monday out to the shops again. I was still keeping up with the housework too. I think I'd been over doing it a bit, but there were things that needed doing so I didn't have much choice and you are meant to stay active to a certain extent.

When I turned 36 weeks I had a bit of a scare .....well it was a big shock. I had a bleed, and not just a tiny bit of blood, what seemed like a lot. I was worried but thankfully Ashley was with me so I wasn't alone but I was thinking is this it, is she coming now ?!! Is she Ok? Besides those passing thoughts I was kind of numb and just on automatic mode I think. I called the Delivery suite who put me through to the Maternity Assessment Clinic and they told me to keep an eye on it, but that it was probably nothing to worry about as sometimes hormones can cause this to happen. So I managed to calm down, but later on I realized I was still bleeding and had what seemed like a show. I started getting sharp pains low down as well and during the evening and night, barely once felt my normally extremely active baby move.
So I was worried again and in the morning with no make up on, hair not brushed I got a taxi to the hospital to get checked out. They monitored babies movement and her heartbeat for fifteen minutes and not long after the monitor straps were on she decided she was coming out to play and started moving loads, which was a relief but probably made me look silly. They also checked for a reason of bleeding and to see if I was dilated at all. I wasn't and the bleeding had been caused by a hormonal erosion which goes away after a bit. 
For people who've had babies before it would probably seem like nothing, but it was all a big concern for me so I am glad I went and got checked out because I felt a lot less stressed afterwards.

Baby Neve with Mummy Mel

It was now the Friday 1st of July and both Mel and Tasleem were having their sweeps .......was anything going to happen. For Tasleem unfortunately not, but for Mel who was already slightly dilated......finally progress....she was getting stronger cramps and it looked like early labour was starting.....cue massive excitement from us all! By the next day at 20.10 Mel had given birth to Podge.....who turned out to be a beautiful baby girl that they named Neve Evelyn! She'd done it! She gave birth and Podge was finally here! It was an exciting time for us, checking for updates constantly and I imagine an absolutely exhausting one for her!
I had had my mobile glued to my hand from Friday night, but when she actually gave birth I was in the cinema seeing Transformers 3 3D (my baby did not like the noise!) and had no signal!!
 Taz finally had her baby on Tuesday 5th of July at 18.15pm and she too ended up having a beautiful baby girl called Zara. So now both babies were here I got very inpatient haha. I'd started thinking Woah this has actually all gone pretty quick, considering its been almost 9 months of my life, but then having no babies to wait for anymore except mine, it suddenly felt like AGES to go again even though it was only 3 weeks!

Tuesday the 12th I finally saw my G.P midwife again. I had avoided her a bit as she had been so useless and it was literally a waste of time seeing her and I'd been having plenty of hospital appointments.
She finally measured my bump for the first time and felt for the baby, but didn't tell me what her findings were, but I knew from my hospital check after my scare that the sharp pains had been the babies head engaging and from another appt that baby was now 4/5ths. The one good thing she did do however, which I'm not sure she is meant to, is to book me in for a sweep on my due date to get things going if they aren't already by then. So I'm glad I won;t have to wait a few days for that if she isn't on time. 
Finding out baby is getting herself ready to come out and is almost fully engaged was exciting, but also I found out the day before was making it much harder to get about. I'd gone shopping and therefore done quite a bit of walking again, and my god by the time I was walking down the very long road to our house, my pelvis/hip region was so stiff and painful. As a result I had to walk very slow. So I then realised I couldn't go shopping anymore!

The Picnic: Ami, the only boy there, took the pic

After the midwife appointment on tues I went into town and then to work to meet Tammy and Lina as we were going to Tasleems when they had finished. I got there early so saw quite a few people and then when the girls were ready it was time to go! I was really looking forward to seeing Taz (who I hadn't seen since she was 37 weeks and I was 32 weeks, at a picnic we had at Kirkstall Abbey) and obviously baby Zara! 
I couldn't believe how tiny she was! I was actually too scared to pick her up at first in case I broke her lol, but when I did hold her it was lovely. She is beautiful and seems to have a great temperament. It was really nice to spend time with the girls too as I'd been missing them, and we also met Taz's 3 year old nephew who was very chatty and cute, but as he spoke their language as well Taz had to translate half the time.
The rest of the week remained quite busy with another hospital appointment on Thursday morning where I ended up on the monitor again and this time for quite a while as babies heart rate was seeming quite erratic, but ended up all ok. They are happy with my haemoglobin levels now, but don't know my iron levels, but the Hb levels returning to normal suggests they are ok, even though I have been starting to feel a bit funny again with palpitations. I think it may just be may low blood pressure again. 

Friday was a G.P appointment, like the hospital one, very early in the morning and I went into town after it to get hold of some raspberry leaf capsules (even though I currently now have no money) and my free mum & baby pack from Sainsburies. Walking through town was very hard and I was so glad when I made it home. I think that will be my last trip in whilst I'm still pregnant! My pelvis was so bad after these active days that it killed just to roll over in bed!


So now I've reached the 18th of July, I'm 38 weeks and 5 days pregnant and 9 days to go until my due date! I've been getting more braxton hicks the two days I took the Raspberry leaf, but also terrible back ache, so I skipped the tablet yesterday. They don't induce labour however, just help your cervix to dilate when you are actually in the process. Something I'm trying to get across to my mother who still goes my the knowledge of when she did midwifery briefly 37 years ago. She thinks they are terribly dangerous, so I've told her to do some research :)

I have taken it today and have no symptoms as of yet, so hopefully the backache was unrelated, and very possibly baby just squashing me when I needed the toilet or something (t.m.i sorry!).
My baby bump seems the lowest ever today so I'm thinking it won't be long. Wish me Luck! Next time I do a pregnancy post it should be about my labour and new arrival!


                                                                
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My Pregnancy Continued - My babies a vampire and other stories

So 24 weeks into my pregnancy and it was time to attempt a holiday. It was my first one with Ash and was just for a week down to Devon for my friends wedding weekend and then Plymouth my old home town for a few days. I'm going to do a separate post about it but just to say I had a great time. It was really good for the pair of us to get away from everything, good for our relationship, great to see my friends, but in one aspect a nightmare as I was in the stage of HORRIFIC backache. I managed but it did make things less enjoyable/ carefree and easy at points.

26 weeks 4 days

I was properly developing a bump now, after so long of not having one and being worried about it. However on the down side, I was also suffering from horrible Anemia. My iron levels were decreasing still without me knowing and I didn't realise that was what was making me feel so awful.

Walking up the small hill to work or just a couple of stairs when there would feel like wading through mud. I'd often get the same horrible sensations in my head n chest of a pressing heaviness, weakness in the rest of my body and a urgent need to sit down. As it got worse, even being sat at the computer booking on would get too hard, lifting my arms up to type was like lifting them through a bog. I started having to go to the toilets to lie down on the floor at different points during the day. However I still carried on dragging my sorry self to work every day and my clueless line manager had no idea what an effort this was, but I couldn't risk anymore time off work ill.

Around this time, my pregnant work friend Tasleen had finally reached the time for her maternity leave, as she was due a month before me, and we had a leaving lunch for her and brought her some nice presents for her send off. I was going to miss her, but now I couldn't wait until it was my turn to leave, but that wouldn't be until half way through June! Being the end of April it was also Ashley's birthday (the same day as the Royal wedding), so despite being so ill I made a huge effort every night after work making him a momentous birthday card, as I wanted it to be special, and then helping out at his birthday BBQ after I'd worked Saturday morning. I managed surprisingly to last quite late into the night.....I didn't want to be a let down and have to go off to bed like so many other times before during this pregnancy.

 

I sewed on beads to spell his name

No thanks to my useless GP practice midwife I had actually started getting treatment for my anaemia. The antenatal department at Leeds General Infirmary are great and I was finally getting seen my the Dr's there. They started me on a gentle iron tablet, pregaday i think it was called, but that didn't seem to be working. Although during this treatment I was unlucky enough to get a severe vomiting bug, I couldn't swallow even water, let alone anything else with out throwing up for a few days, so I missed out on the tablets then, as well as being off work again :/ and missing the chance on the bank holiday Monday (May 2nd)  to meet up with some of my uni friends I hadn't seen for ages.

Even though the tablets were gentle, it was still affecting my G.I condition. So these were two reasons they switched me to the syrup - Sytrol I think. However this only acted to increases the flare up of my Crohns disease and I was loosing even more blood and feeling even worse.

 Still I tried my best to carry on, going to work and dealing with how bad I felt in the mornings by escaping to go and sit on the toilet floor every now and then, and drinking as much orange juice with my meds as I could (not just a craving, but it helps you absorb iron) and eating emergency chocolate raisins (they contain iron).

On my birthday we had the day off work and attempted a day out. Our first stop was town where I almost passed out in Tesco and then ended up having to sit on the floor in an isle in Boots. Wasn't the best start, but got myself some fruit and raisins and we got the bus to Roundhay Park and then walked through to get to Tropical World. Our walk interrupted by the several points when I again had to take a break and sit on the floor when I was feeling close to passing out. Luckily as the day progressed I started to feel better (it was always a lot worse in the mornings for some reason) and managed to enjoy Tropical world, the butterflies flying around us and wanted to rescue the Golden Lion Tamerins and take them home with us.

So I managed a birthday day out, although I was a bit upset by nighttime as it had been a bit of a disappointing birthday, besides the day trip, but I'll write about that in my Birthday post. It could have been a lot worse though, and I'm glad Ashley took the day off with me.

During these weeks I had gone through a bit of a break down stage, maybe partly hormones, maybe depression or just myself coming around to dealing with the fact I was really having a baby. As much as I love her and want her, as she wasn't planned and a complete shock, it can be harder to get your head around the fact you are going to become a mother and your life is changing immensely. Especially as I had only just recently got my life back on track due to my long term illness and just started living again after missing out on so much. There is so much I want to be able to do, just normal things like a holiday abroad, nights out with friends, camping, paint balling, as well as sorting a career out, as my life was stuck in limbo for a very long time previously.

So upsettingly for a while I did go through feelings of not wanting her, well that's not true, I wanted her, but to be able to delay it for a couple of years, so I could do the things I'd wanted to do. I felt horrifically down.

I know I will still be able to do these things but I won't have my freedom or my money for myself or time to enjoy just being me and Ash (as I've been too ill during pregnancy) but at the same time my life will be better because I will have my beautiful baby girl, who I can't wait for and will be able to do so much with her and I know how lucky I am, because at one stage I did worry about my fertility due to illness and such and cried at the thought of not being able to have children. So it was just a stage I had to progress through, and I've realized was totally natural.

Back to my actual bump, at work certain people (who are lovely people really, but haven't had babies for like 20 years and didn't seem to think about what they were saying) were starting to quite upset me with the comments about my bump "My god you're huge!" etc. I wasn't, but that didn't affect how it made me feel, and did start to make me feel paranoid about my bump size. The day after I'd had a few comments I had my next hospital antenatal appt, where my iron was switched and she mentioned I would probably have to have infusions if this didn't work, I also got measured as with every hosp appt. I'd been measuring exactly on the average line for bump size, but today I measured 3cm under the line.....I was too small for my stage (30 weeks and 1 day)....and after people had been calling me huge it was the last thing I expected! That partly cheered me up and partly worried me, but not too much as I wasn't massively under the shaded area, but just to make sure because of my Crohn's disease the Dr wanted me to have a growth scan the next day to check baby was growing ok.

Our baby girl

Her face: 30 weeks 2 days

So May the 20th I had another scan, which Ash came to as well (which was a relief as had had some major issues with him this week, about whether he had any interest at all in our baby and I had been incredibly upset and worried by his responses) and I was a tiny bit nervous, but mostly excited to see our baby girl again. The sonographer was lovely and told me how my little wriggler had got herself into a funny position, already head down but kind of diagonal and sideways....doesn't make much sense, but explained why my bump was measuring small. She took all babies measurements, inc body, blood n oxygen flow through the umbilical cord and the surrounding fluid and with quite a bit of difficulty the head measurements, considering she'd squished her head low down where there wasn't much space and it turned out she was measuring exactly as she should be for 30 weeks and 2 days gestation, completely average and fine :) It was a lovely experience as we got to see her face ....and she appeared to be pulling faces and blowing bubbles and also playing with her umbilical cord. It was amazing to see her face so clearly and to see her doing real baby things! It may sound daft, but even though I feel her moving all the time, it is still hard to grasp I have a living being in my tummy! It was also lovely to see Ash smiling and laughing as baby was pulling faces. I think it really helped him feel connected again, as it must be hard if you're not carrying it yourself. Being a woman, the baby is with you every second of every day, you're never apart, so scans are a really good experience for fathers.

Ash ran the BBQ for everyone

By 31 weeks I was moving towards the last few days of work before going on leave. I hadn't wanted to as it would mean less time with my baby, but because of my anaemia I had brought my maternity leave forward 2 weeks. I was struggling and needed to stop work. Despite still being unwell, with it being the last few days, they were easier to get through.Plus my stage of awful backache had worn off (being replaced my horrific rib ache and hip pain from sleeping at night) and also I was getting exciting deliveries from mother care of baby items for me and my friend Mel and a big storage/changing unit so I could finally start organizing the nursery. So that took my mind off things. (Especially the day where pregnant and very anaemic I decided to build the big unit all on my own!)

I knew I was really going to miss my work friends, but I really needed to be at home and my line manager was really beginning to get to me. I planned a leaving meal, but I had also been planning my delayed birthday bash. I had been too depressed and feeling too ill around my actual birthday to plan anything, so I arranged a birthday BBQ for the 29th of May instead. Work friends, uni friends, a friend from Plymouth who I've known since 11 and my brother all came. It was a great time and although it was only in retrospect a few hours and I was exhausted by 7pm (and exhausted the next day - bank holiday), it was a success. It had been so nice seeing everyone, as my friends live all over the country and for several it was the first time they had seen my bump.

Tuesday the 31st was my last day of work before 2 weeks annual leave and then maternity leave. I was only in for the morning and at break time they did my presentation which was lovely of them, and they gave me a card and some presents, which people had put money in for. So as well as a couple of other gifts, I got some lovely pink baby clothes as picked out by Tammy and Lina had chosen a Moses basket which was amazing as I didn't have one. Also separate from my presentation some other work friends such as Lynn and Kelly had given me separate baby gifts, as had friends at the BBQ, which was lovely and I'm lucky to have such thoughtful friends.

Lynnie, Me, Ash

Some of my work friends who came, and the creep

Lunchtime was my leaving meal at The Red Chilli - A Chinese restaurant, which as well as some very scary meat options, has a lot of vegetarian choice too. It was lovely of my colleagues to come, just over 30 did, but I was a bit disappointed by a couple who didn't, but the important people were there. Oh and the work creep also :( who kind of ruined the experience by at the end waiting and hanging around me and asking for a cuddle (he's 53 and has no idea of the concept of personal space and is quite stalkerish) and there was nothing I could do as I hugged others, so had to accept. Besides the fact it him touching me is something worse than a nightmare, his stomach was a similar size to my baby occupied one, AND he tried to kiss me. I actually cried about this at home, may sound silly but I'm pregnant and he really REALLY creeps me out and has even interfered in my personal life in the past. But as I'm the kind type haha and we think he may have mental problems, I still am nice and talk to him. Besides this I had enjoyed the food and the company of the people there, as I have made some really good friends at work.

So I had finished work, and you would expect it was time to rest, but the next few weeks were quite the opposite. One reason being the volume of hospital appointments I had. On Wednesday the 1st, when I turned  32 weeks pregnant my health visitor came to visit for the first time. She was a lovely lady and gave me a lot of info that I need to read up on and my babies little red book! In the morning though, I had seen my G.I consultant, who due to my worsening G.I condition and the fact my iron was now only 7 but had dropped to 5 before then (my baby is a vampire!) wanted me to stop the iron medicines now and get the infusions done. So the next day was another busy one, the GP's in the afternoon where I had an ECG due to my palpitations and racing heartbeat (possibly due to the aneamia) followed by the shops and the post office to post a baby parcel for the lovely Mel Matthews, and the morning ....another hospital antenatal appointment followed by my first iron infusion. They passed me over to the ANDU and I had to have my first one on my own. Now I'm not going to lie, I have a serious phobia of needles. I have been like a pin cushion ever since I became ill at 19 with all the blood tests I have had to have, but still my phobia stays strong. Mostly I can handle blood tests now, but needles staying in such as cannulas etc ....even talking about them makes my blood pressure drop and I come close to fainting. It was no different with my first iron infusion, even just knowing what was about to happen caused my BP to drop, which only became worse during the short procedure of having the black tar like substance filtered in intravenously. The midwife was great and tried to distract me and put a cloth on my head and eventually some colour came back to my face, but after this I decided to get Ash to come with me for the next one.

That's actually a soother in its mouth!

I had four more of these to go before the treatment was completed, and I asked Ash to come to the second one, only for him not to turn up. He hadn't been able to find the place, but I got upset as wasn't sure he'd bothered to ask anyone, but mainly just because I was emotional and had gone through it on my own again, but luckily he made it to the third and fourth ones. It may seem silly but it made a huge difference having him there, I was so much more distracted and felt a lot calmer, even though our relationship went through a big crisis in these two weeks. I was now getting my last couple infusions out the way, I had reached the stage of pregnancy where it was time for our antenatal classes. So topped up on iron, vampire baby satisfied, I had reached the final few weeks of pregnancy.


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